"Basta Fajoelee"

My (Real) Mom: So . . . you're just making "basta fajoelee?"

Me: No, I'm making bean soup.

My Mom: Yeah, "basta fajoelee." what basta you gonna put in it?

Me: IT'S BEAN SOUP!

My Mom: Yeah, that's what "basta fajoelee" is - you're just not putting basta in it.

Me: Exactly, so it's bean soup!

My Mom: Yeah well, you're still just not putting basta in it.

Me: Yeah well, you're still just a jerk! Do you even know how to spell "fajoelee?"

My Mom: I - uh - wait, I think it's "fagilio."

Me: "Fagilio." How is that fajoelee?

My Mom: Wait, it's "fagolio"

Me: Huh?

My Mom: Yeah, because in Italian you pronounce the "li" like "ooo"

Me: What? That doesn't even make sense!

My Mom: Yeah, well, I only speak the language, I can't write in it.

Me: I thought you said you taught yourself to read Italian!

My Mom: I did! I just can't write in it.

Me: How can you read and not write? that's doesn't even make sense. People speak but can't read or write, not read and not be able to write! You're still just making excuses.

My Mom: Yeah well, you're still just a jerk!

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