Better Beer

About a month and a half ago I wrote a piece about the Region’s beers. Unfortunately, the publication only published about a 1/3 of the information, so in an attempt to absolve my guilt and make amends with the otherwise excited breweries, I’ve compiled a list of tastings for the four most popular beers from every brewery in the Region, the beers being tasted being inventions of the breweries created on location, and nowhere else. No merged companies, no bought recipes, strictly recipes and beers made within the Region, all with their own qualities that make them worthwhile brews. I’ve favourites, but I won’t disqualify the work of each brewery, my taste being experienced, but also subjective. Feel free to seek me out and ask me personally, but I won’t do that here. My goal is to get you excited about your beer drinking life. The 20 beers I’ve tried run the gamut, from light to dark, hoppy to smooth. There’s even a group of beers with little alcohol content for those of you interested in nothing more than flavour. Over the course of 4 days with as many comrades as I could find, I compiled short beer tasting lists based on ‘appearance,’ ‘smell,’ ‘taste,’ ‘mouthfeel,’ and ‘overall’ opinion. And not to worry, these beers are very accessible, located all over the city at local bars and the LCBO. If you didn’t know, now you do. So enjoy whatever bit of summer you have left with a brewski; better yet, enjoy the rest of your days in Waterloo and the region with all the brews they have to offer. Thus, I implore you all: stop buying those brand name beers! You have children in your own community who are going skunky! Father Flavin doesn't have the stamina to drink them!

Gold Crown Brewery Ltd.
71 King Street North
Waterloo, ON N2J2X2

Lion Lager-5%

Appearance: a bright amber lager with average effervescence and white head that dissipates quickly.
 

Smell: typical of lighter beers, no real distinction, with a light hops aroma as well as some fruitiness.
 

Taste: Fruity with a slight bubblegum note. Hoppy with a clean rounded brassiness at first, but changing to a grainy character, reminiscent of bananas and cream.
 

Mouthfeel: A claimed full bodied beer; average with mellow effervescence and some creaminess.
 

Overall:  A beer for gentle drinkers. No abrasive finish; familiar to most.

Wheat Beer-5%

Appearance: cloudy turbidity with bright yellow display; and head lingers for a couple of minutes.

Smell: brassy and seltzer like with heavy citrus notes.
 

Taste: Salty qualities at first transform into creamed oats with a mild hoppy finish reminiscent of carbonated soda.
 

Mouthfeel: full bodied with a very smooth finish.
 

Overall: Another for drinkers who enjoy light beers but with thicker, oilier qualities. Mellow, but also savoury.

Honey Brown Lager-5%

Appearance: Light caramel pour, thin head, little effervescence
 

Smell: coppery with some saltiness, lost by pint’s glassiness.
 

Taste: brassy with fruit notes, changes to a meaty hops midway through, slight finish.
 

Mouthfeel: medium body with a wet finish due to little effervescence
 

Overall: average lager, sometimes unappealing with mild carbonation and mellow hops.

 

Wuerzburger Lager-6%

Appearance: sturdy effervescence, with a deep gold body, surprisingly lighter colour than Honey Brown.
 

Smell: cobwebs, somewhat musty with mild roasted malt notes.
 

Taste: roasted flavor that is mildly earthy, but good malt character. Satisfying finish, hoppy enough to balance the dull earthy flavours.
 

Mouthfeel: effervescent and full bodied, but sometimes feels wet.
 

Overall: for savoury drinkers. Roasted malt good for those who like the qualities of a stout but don’t want the strength.

All available at the Huether Hotel on Tap

Brick Brewery Co Ltd. 

181 King Street South
Waterloo, ON

Red Baron Premium Blonde Lager-4.8%
Appearance:  pale blonde, aggressive effervescent pour. Head disappears quickly.
 

Smell: light sour quality with a hint of spice.
Taste: salty- sodium like. Very mild hoppiness, clean and crisp but becomes winy.
 

Mouthfeel: light and effervescent; thin bodied.
 

Overall: Very light beer with average qualities. Wet and winy. For those who like beer flavor without effervescent aggression.

 

Traditional IPA -5.2%
Appearance: battery, glossy head. Thick with staying power. Amber coloured body. Head is yellow pearl
 

Smell: Strong fruity character with bubblegum notes; somewhat musty. Estery quality left on breath.
 

Taste: strong and brassy hops. Grainy if allowed to linger on the tongue. A slight finish, with lingering brassy/bitter after taste.
 

Mouthfeel: full bodied with an aggressive effervescence that easily coats the mouth.
 

Overall: palatable once accustomed to its somewhat harsh aftertaste

 

WATERLOO ORIGINAL DARK 5%
Appearance: deep molasses colour, like cola, with a head that’s coffee coloured; oily in complexion
 

Smell: meaty and buttery notes, roasted quality on the breath, changes to nut.
 

Taste: Overly metallic at first sip with a smooth estery quality. Not fruity. Strangely, no malty or roasted notes. Eventual change to briny, sour notes.
 

Mouthfeel: not as heavy as expected. Slick and gassy.
 

Overall: Mellow and not to overbearing on the tongue, reminiscent of club soda. For drinkers who want to appear tough with something that resembles a stout.

WATERLOO AUTHENTIC AMBER 6.8%

Appearance: amber coloured body, off white head.
 

Smell: mild and winy. A tad salty.
 

Taste: Winy and nutty. Very straightforward for strong alcohol content. 

Apparitional eggy after taste
 

Mouthfeel: average bodied
 

Overall: Unfortunate strong alcoholic content, otherwise good focused flavours.

Beer available all over town.

Wellington Brewery
950 Woodlawn Road West
Guelph, Ontario, Canada
N1K 1B8

Boot chuck IPA-5.5%Appearance: glossy, honeycomb coloured head, with deep amber body.
 

Smell: salty, meaty, but disappears rather quickly.
 

Taste: hoppy with a slight malt, and very slight fruit note after taste. Winy if left to sit.
 

Mouthfeel: medium body, chalky after taste, smooth finish.
 

Overall: a well balanced beer, no remarkable aromas or flavours, usually lost in favor of its hoppiness. That said, it’s reminiscent of what people think a beer tastes like. I think enjoyed as a break for drinkers of strong beers but who still like that hoppy characteristic.

 

TRAILHEAD VIENNA LAGER-4.5%
Appearance: thin head, disappears quickly, gold liquid, effervescent
 

Smell: Oaty, verging on grassy with a light hops
 

Taste: apparitional in alcohol character, quickly disappears and leaves an almond after taste. Flavour changes to something grainy part way through.
 

Mouthfeel: smooth and gassy, medium bodied
 

Overall: smooth and effervescent; a good natured pale ale that actually has character and staying power. Might be a treat for those used to the mellow qualities of lagers.

 

WELLINGTON SPA Special Pale Ale-4.5%

Appearance:  off white head; thin; dissipates quickly; amber colured body
 

Smell: nutty, hoppy aroma
 

Taste: crisp, winy flavor, apparitional floral flavor, but very slight. Dry light finish
 

Mouthfeel: thin bodied and dry, syrupy when reminiscing.
 

Overall: pungeant and crisp ale without much complexity. Becomes easier on the palate as one goes through. A good transition beer for those looking to go from mellow beers to ones with more character.


WELLINGTON COUNTY DARK ALE- 5%

Appearance: brown head, dark amber body
 

Smell: brassy, smell, a little salty, roasted malts when opening, quickly disappears
 

Taste: hoppy and winy, with the appearance of some malt notes. Roasted notes linger on the breath afterwards.
 

Mouthfeel: unexpectedly dry, average body.
 

Overall: expected a denser body, and less winy qualities, but then again it is a dark ale, not a stout. Falls short of roasted qualities I would like to taste; however, as a dark ale it matches its character. For those who would like ales with more complexity, but no strong finish. What’s appealing about this is the roasted quality on the breath afterwards.

Availability
SPA - Jane Bond, Borealis, Rum Runner Pub, 271 West, Ethel's Lounge, Kick Off Sports Bar, Lancaster Smoke House
Trailhead - 271 West
County Ale - Duke of Wellington
Boot Chuck IPA - This is a limited edition beer, we don't know for sure where it will be on tap as of yet.


FandM Brewery
355 Elmira Road N.
Guelph, Ontario N1K 1S5

STONE HAMMER PREMIUM LIGHT- 4.2%

Appearance:  thick head, pale white, pale yellow body, effervescent
 

Smell: hoppy and creamy, winy on second smell, nutty on third
 

Taste: exceptionally grainy with great oat notes, very light and winy at first, turns to grainy. Very smooth finish.  Cereal notes remaining on breath
 

Mouthfeel: thin bodied, dry, yet wet part way through.
 

Overall: A surprisingly savoury light beer, with good discernible flavours. Recommend if you want a light beer with deep character.

STONE HAMMER PREMIUM PILSNER-5%
Appearance: thin head, pale, with yellow body that is rather effervescent
 

Smell: hoppy, with fruity undertones
 

Taste: very winy and wet; crisp with aggressive winy finish. A resinous note lingers on the breath after a couple sips. Some oat qualities.
 

Mouthfeel: medium bodied, dry puckering finish.
 

Overall: A typical lager at first, astringent and rather winy, but with an interesting resinous note that is unexpected and well received. Recommended for those who like strong pilsners with a little character.

 

MACLEAN’S PALE ALE-5%

Appearance: amber body, light amber body, somewhat turbit pour. Mild effervescence. Offwhite head.
 

Smell: savoury with fruity notes. Apparitional nuttiness and syrupy quality.
 

Taste: nutty body, first sip, winy taste and resinous finish. Becomes more vinous throughout but resinous quality remains after finish. Mild fruit notes
 

Mouthfeel: fullbodied with dry finish.
 

Overall: A good natured ale with some complexity beyond typical spicy, hoppy qualities that make it seem vinous or winy.

 

STONE HAMMER PREMIUM DARK ALE-5%
Appearance: dark amber body, light brown head, dense and matte
 

Smell: sweet and worty, very syrupy.
 

Taste: malty with strong hoppy character, followed by a nutty, resinous finish. A mellow vinous quality exists in the brew. Not at the forefront of the flavours. Changes to astringent salty quality with resinous finish. Malt on breath
 

Mouthfeel: full bodied with chalky after taste. Dry qualities.
 

Overall:  Recommend for those who like the qualities of stouts without high alchohol content.

 

Availability
Aside from LCBO and the Beer Store
Angie’s Kitchen — 47 Erb Street West
Black Hole Bistro — 31 North Caroline Street
Bloom Conestoga College — 108 University Avenue East
Hogtails Southern BBQ — 645 Laurelwood Drive
Kick Off Sports Lounge (R) — 170 University Street West
Oliver and Bonacini — Conestoga Mall, 500 King Street North
University of Waterloo Gradhouse (R) — University of Waterloo Ring Road
Waterloo Tennis Club — 50 Central Street

 

Grand River Brewing
295 Ainslie Street
Cambridge, Ontario, Canada N1R 3L3

Mill Race Mild-3.5%

Appearance: burnt caramel body, light brown head, thin.
 

Smell: malty, syrupy, very close to molasses . roasted. Strongest malt of all beers tried.
 

Taste: Coffee like; an apparitional savouriness resembling rare steak. Coffee on breath- smell changes to caramel cream near end; tastes unfinished, as far as 3.5 % alcohol content goes
 

Mouthfeel: full-bodied, oily, starts out that way but disappears, nothing to back it up. Smooth finish, rather wet.
 

Overall:  a faux stout for those who like malty qualities without the alcohol.  Guenther says like an IPA. Either way, geared towards those who like the flavor qualities of beer more than typical hoppiness. A unique light beer.


Galt Knife Old Style-4.4%
 
Appearance: honey coloured, off yellow head, dissipates quickly.
 

Smell: mild hops, malty and acidic (vinegary), reminiscent of mustard.
 

Taste: hoppy, savoury oats, with a brassy aftertaste; mild fruitiness, like bananas. Hoppy finish.
 

Mouthfeel: full bodied with bitter hops at back of throat with finish.
 

Overall:  a well balanced beer with strong flavor notes at the beginning and hops that linger on the back of the throat after the finish. Tastes great at room temperature.

 

Hannenberg Pils 4.5%

Appearance:  pale thin head, dissipates quickly.
 

Smell: fruity. Creamy at first, but then sour, and rather skunky. Sulpher quality, like sour milk. Head goes, turns grainy. Hoppy.
 

Taste: fruity at first, smooth finish, grainy at the back of the throat. Nutty on breath.
 

Mouthfeel: dry, medium body, smooth finish.
Overall: like a pale two row malt with a very distinct malt. A good pilsner.

 

Plowman’s Ale 4.7%

Appearance:  dark amber colour, eggshell head, dissipates quickly.
 

Smell: syrupy, roasted caramel notes upon first opening. Changes to a mild fruitiness.
 

Taste: sour and brassy on first sip. Very hoppy. Apparitional burnt caramel quality throughout, hints of vanilla and coffee.
 

Mouthfeel: very dry, medium body, harsh finish, syrupy.
 

Overall: too much hops, not a lot of room for flavor. Similar to Mill Race Mild, but more hoppy qualities; suggest chilling. Hops throws everything out of balance. By the time you get into the complexity of flavours the hops wipes them out.

In the LCBO right now: Galt Knife Old Style, Plowmans Ale, and Pugnacious Pale Ale
 

Beers are available on tap at Kick Offs, The Grad House UW

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Still Burgin'

You’re probably tired of reading about hamburgers, and with due reason. It seems this summer the things are all I write about, so I don’t blame you. But please, dear readers, bear with me one last time, and take comfort in knowing that my burgin’ has given me a wide perspective on the patties our dear city has to offer.

At the request of yet another mouth I was led to Jack Burger Pub, an alleged dive bar turned hamburger joint. I’ve known the red bricked house on the corner of Duke and Ontario Street my entire life, parking in the adjacent lot many-a-time, hearing the rabble from within, neon lights glowing without, never having the gull to enter on my own, or with a friend even. But those were different days. Days when Jack Burger was old One Eyed Jack’s, a bar most probably didn’t look twice at. So, why would I?

Well, as a staunch advocate of good, focused menus I was nothing but thrilled when a friend told me to check out Jack’s: a place with three menu options and nothing else. Now, it may not be the focused mastery we want with foodstuff that takes time and effort, like a perfect bowl of ramen, or good cup of coffee, but the dynamic is something I certainly appreciate and wish to support.

Straight and to the point, Jack’s allows its customers to choose from two kinds of patties, vegetarian or meat, or Jack’s 8” hot dog; from there, you have the option of making a myriad of combinations with toppings, some at extra charge, but who’s counting.  There’s also the choice of salads, and cool nostalgic novelties like milk shakes, what Jack’s menu explains as ‘real’ ice cream, and soft drinks in glass bottles. Now, if you know me by now, you know I’d rail against such appeals to a nostalgia most of us reading aren’t even old enough to have experienced; but I won’t in this rare instance, because glass bottled coke has an appetence different from what we drink out of a can or plastic bottle. Don’t believe me? Go to Jack’s and shell out the 3 dollars to try one. Gone is that overbearing carbonated saltiness the kid’s from Hong Kong go gaga over. Relish in the pungent caramel syrup that sweetens the liquor. Personally, I’m glad I threw my prejudice to the wind. This time.

Spoiling myself further I asked for a Jack burger with smoked bacon, blue cheese, and the usual burger fare. All that, and a side of poutine. Then, after a patient 10 minutes, laid in front of me was a fine grained sesame patty stacked with pickles, lettuce, chopped tomatoes (not conventionally sliced), bacon, and a blue cheese that liquefied as it smothered a pale looking patty, not seared like I’d expect. The first bite shocked me with the pickles’ fruitiness, the rich blue cheese mellowed any sweetness, and the chewy demeanor of burger and bun, balanced perfectly in proportion, made the chuck disappear in a matter of minutes, leaving a mess of mustard and ketchup in its wake. It wasn’t the best burger I’ve had, but it certainly was genial enough. The side of poutine was another story: fries smattered with grains of salt smothered in an even saltier gravy and curds that didn’t melt, even in 30 degree weather. Nothing out of the ordinary, and like so many other poutines this city has to offer. Alone, however, the earthy flavor of the fries was a delight. Otherwise, I’ve no qualms with Jack’s. And if you’re in the neighbourhood, and if you want a burger, there it is, patio, bar and all.


ANY PAYMENT
45 Duke St. West in Downtown Kitchener.

Hours: unknooowwwnnn.

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PHO SHIZZLE

My resolute fight for culinary relativity seems one of my more redeemable qualities. I’ve said in the past that it’s taste that matters, but even that is subjective to my own preferences- my memories, my Faye Wongs; and therefore, you needn’t ever take me too seriously on the grounds of good food. I am a humble eater. I try to give honest reviews. However, there is one sphere in which my orthodoxy remains vigilant, supposedly unchanging- uncompromisable. Except however, in rare, so far, yearly cases. 

I like to devote whatever patriotism I have in my body to where we eat and kung fu. That said, no heart can ever serve two masters, which is why I have a tendency to wane in the prior. My city has great spaces to eat. It can hold its own, and we owe that greatly not to the haute terrors that tyrannically rule our palettes, but the proletariat parboilers, poachers, and pastry bakers  who autodidactically serve novelty to our tongues. Sometimes, however, novelty can be so great, and so alluring beyond food that I can’t help but entertain it.

It was such novelty that brought me to a place in a city I’d never had the intention of eating and writing in. I’ve known this place to exist for a long long time, and it was always a fanciful ambition of mine, albeit rather flaky one, to eat there. But when  a place hashes out novelty restaurants and fine huneyz, who am I, with my limited time on this plain of existence, to refuse? Hey, the heart wants what the heart wants. If I haven’t said so already, I’ll say it now- an opportunity lost is one lost forever. 

Considering only its stellar, phonetically punning namesake, Pho Shizzle Viet Thai has nothing miraculous to offer its eaters. That said, I don’t blame it.
 

Located in Cambridge, Ontario, it holds as much of a monopoly as is possible in a place that is arguably the largest culinary wasteland in my region. In my city, Pho Shizzle might be in danger, but with little competition to encourage it, it has no need for any creativity beyond Viet Thai favourites. Is this bad? Not in the least. Some people dislike it very much. My company couldn’t trust a space with a live fish tank. She claimed there was something fishy about it. And although the tank is a lucky convention in some Asian restaurants, this dynamic is neither here nor there. 

I didn’t mind Pho Shizzle. I don’t mind Pho Shizzle. Maybe I was smitten. Maybe I was in the mood for something a little familiar. A little sexy.  But, if the Viet Thai menu is as big as it always is, any place can be novel. Good or bad is neither here nor there. The Pad Thai didn’t taste like any other Pad Thai I’ve had. But, good or bad is neither here nor there.
 

So, how did I make for an interesting trip, aside from choking on tea? Novelty drinks helped. An iced jackfruit cocktail filled with colourful crushed ice and the kind of fruit syrup your relatives from France bring you home every time they visit. Don’t forget the fleshy husks of mulberries’ yellow cousins, sitting at the bottom, tasting mildly like bananas and reminiscently chemical; chewy and crisp, juxtaposed next to the slivers of tasteless gelatin that made the drink a textural playground, a dream for the child in my heart.
 

I sprung for the pork vermicelli bowl, if not to learn from it. A favourite of mine, its clean soapy qualities are always a return, especially when the side of sweet sauce is poured over every piece of pork, lettuce, sprout, coriander, and mint bound together by slippery rice vermicelli. Every time it’s a good wake up call. I’ve never hated the dish anywhere. With charred pork slices flavoured only by their own juices and the grill, as well as crunchy cucumber sticks, it was a buoyant adventure. Shoot, It was a great Friday. Do I owe it to Pho Shizzle? I do in part. With an entrée that had me stuffed for only 10 dollars, Pho Shizzle had me appreciating the familiar things in life.
 

Yes, young masters, whether it was the food, company, or poetic ambiguity of this roaming review, something about where I was that night had me leaving it loving it.

Pho Shizzle Viet Thai Restaurant
(519) 658-4796
100 Jamieson Parkway #11
Cambridge, ON
N3C 4B3


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