Better Beer

About a month and a half ago I wrote a piece about the Region’s beers. Unfortunately, the publication only published about a 1/3 of the information, so in an attempt to absolve my guilt and make amends with the otherwise excited breweries, I’ve compiled a list of tastings for the four most popular beers from every brewery in the Region, the beers being tasted being inventions of the breweries created on location, and nowhere else. No merged companies, no bought recipes, strictly recipes and beers made within the Region, all with their own qualities that make them worthwhile brews. I’ve favourites, but I won’t disqualify the work of each brewery, my taste being experienced, but also subjective. Feel free to seek me out and ask me personally, but I won’t do that here. My goal is to get you excited about your beer drinking life. The 20 beers I’ve tried run the gamut, from light to dark, hoppy to smooth. There’s even a group of beers with little alcohol content for those of you interested in nothing more than flavour. Over the course of 4 days with as many comrades as I could find, I compiled short beer tasting lists based on ‘appearance,’ ‘smell,’ ‘taste,’ ‘mouthfeel,’ and ‘overall’ opinion. And not to worry, these beers are very accessible, located all over the city at local bars and the LCBO. If you didn’t know, now you do. So enjoy whatever bit of summer you have left with a brewski; better yet, enjoy the rest of your days in Waterloo and the region with all the brews they have to offer. Thus, I implore you all: stop buying those brand name beers! You have children in your own community who are going skunky! Father Flavin doesn't have the stamina to drink them!

Gold Crown Brewery Ltd.
71 King Street North
Waterloo, ON N2J2X2

Lion Lager-5%

Appearance: a bright amber lager with average effervescence and white head that dissipates quickly.
 

Smell: typical of lighter beers, no real distinction, with a light hops aroma as well as some fruitiness.
 

Taste: Fruity with a slight bubblegum note. Hoppy with a clean rounded brassiness at first, but changing to a grainy character, reminiscent of bananas and cream.
 

Mouthfeel: A claimed full bodied beer; average with mellow effervescence and some creaminess.
 

Overall:  A beer for gentle drinkers. No abrasive finish; familiar to most.

Wheat Beer-5%

Appearance: cloudy turbidity with bright yellow display; and head lingers for a couple of minutes.

Smell: brassy and seltzer like with heavy citrus notes.
 

Taste: Salty qualities at first transform into creamed oats with a mild hoppy finish reminiscent of carbonated soda.
 

Mouthfeel: full bodied with a very smooth finish.
 

Overall: Another for drinkers who enjoy light beers but with thicker, oilier qualities. Mellow, but also savoury.

Honey Brown Lager-5%

Appearance: Light caramel pour, thin head, little effervescence
 

Smell: coppery with some saltiness, lost by pint’s glassiness.
 

Taste: brassy with fruit notes, changes to a meaty hops midway through, slight finish.
 

Mouthfeel: medium body with a wet finish due to little effervescence
 

Overall: average lager, sometimes unappealing with mild carbonation and mellow hops.

 

Wuerzburger Lager-6%

Appearance: sturdy effervescence, with a deep gold body, surprisingly lighter colour than Honey Brown.
 

Smell: cobwebs, somewhat musty with mild roasted malt notes.
 

Taste: roasted flavor that is mildly earthy, but good malt character. Satisfying finish, hoppy enough to balance the dull earthy flavours.
 

Mouthfeel: effervescent and full bodied, but sometimes feels wet.
 

Overall: for savoury drinkers. Roasted malt good for those who like the qualities of a stout but don’t want the strength.

All available at the Huether Hotel on Tap

Brick Brewery Co Ltd. 

181 King Street South
Waterloo, ON

Red Baron Premium Blonde Lager-4.8%
Appearance:  pale blonde, aggressive effervescent pour. Head disappears quickly.
 

Smell: light sour quality with a hint of spice.
Taste: salty- sodium like. Very mild hoppiness, clean and crisp but becomes winy.
 

Mouthfeel: light and effervescent; thin bodied.
 

Overall: Very light beer with average qualities. Wet and winy. For those who like beer flavor without effervescent aggression.

 

Traditional IPA -5.2%
Appearance: battery, glossy head. Thick with staying power. Amber coloured body. Head is yellow pearl
 

Smell: Strong fruity character with bubblegum notes; somewhat musty. Estery quality left on breath.
 

Taste: strong and brassy hops. Grainy if allowed to linger on the tongue. A slight finish, with lingering brassy/bitter after taste.
 

Mouthfeel: full bodied with an aggressive effervescence that easily coats the mouth.
 

Overall: palatable once accustomed to its somewhat harsh aftertaste

 

WATERLOO ORIGINAL DARK 5%
Appearance: deep molasses colour, like cola, with a head that’s coffee coloured; oily in complexion
 

Smell: meaty and buttery notes, roasted quality on the breath, changes to nut.
 

Taste: Overly metallic at first sip with a smooth estery quality. Not fruity. Strangely, no malty or roasted notes. Eventual change to briny, sour notes.
 

Mouthfeel: not as heavy as expected. Slick and gassy.
 

Overall: Mellow and not to overbearing on the tongue, reminiscent of club soda. For drinkers who want to appear tough with something that resembles a stout.

WATERLOO AUTHENTIC AMBER 6.8%

Appearance: amber coloured body, off white head.
 

Smell: mild and winy. A tad salty.
 

Taste: Winy and nutty. Very straightforward for strong alcohol content. 

Apparitional eggy after taste
 

Mouthfeel: average bodied
 

Overall: Unfortunate strong alcoholic content, otherwise good focused flavours.

Beer available all over town.

Wellington Brewery
950 Woodlawn Road West
Guelph, Ontario, Canada
N1K 1B8

Boot chuck IPA-5.5%Appearance: glossy, honeycomb coloured head, with deep amber body.
 

Smell: salty, meaty, but disappears rather quickly.
 

Taste: hoppy with a slight malt, and very slight fruit note after taste. Winy if left to sit.
 

Mouthfeel: medium body, chalky after taste, smooth finish.
 

Overall: a well balanced beer, no remarkable aromas or flavours, usually lost in favor of its hoppiness. That said, it’s reminiscent of what people think a beer tastes like. I think enjoyed as a break for drinkers of strong beers but who still like that hoppy characteristic.

 

TRAILHEAD VIENNA LAGER-4.5%
Appearance: thin head, disappears quickly, gold liquid, effervescent
 

Smell: Oaty, verging on grassy with a light hops
 

Taste: apparitional in alcohol character, quickly disappears and leaves an almond after taste. Flavour changes to something grainy part way through.
 

Mouthfeel: smooth and gassy, medium bodied
 

Overall: smooth and effervescent; a good natured pale ale that actually has character and staying power. Might be a treat for those used to the mellow qualities of lagers.

 

WELLINGTON SPA Special Pale Ale-4.5%

Appearance:  off white head; thin; dissipates quickly; amber colured body
 

Smell: nutty, hoppy aroma
 

Taste: crisp, winy flavor, apparitional floral flavor, but very slight. Dry light finish
 

Mouthfeel: thin bodied and dry, syrupy when reminiscing.
 

Overall: pungeant and crisp ale without much complexity. Becomes easier on the palate as one goes through. A good transition beer for those looking to go from mellow beers to ones with more character.


WELLINGTON COUNTY DARK ALE- 5%

Appearance: brown head, dark amber body
 

Smell: brassy, smell, a little salty, roasted malts when opening, quickly disappears
 

Taste: hoppy and winy, with the appearance of some malt notes. Roasted notes linger on the breath afterwards.
 

Mouthfeel: unexpectedly dry, average body.
 

Overall: expected a denser body, and less winy qualities, but then again it is a dark ale, not a stout. Falls short of roasted qualities I would like to taste; however, as a dark ale it matches its character. For those who would like ales with more complexity, but no strong finish. What’s appealing about this is the roasted quality on the breath afterwards.

Availability
SPA - Jane Bond, Borealis, Rum Runner Pub, 271 West, Ethel's Lounge, Kick Off Sports Bar, Lancaster Smoke House
Trailhead - 271 West
County Ale - Duke of Wellington
Boot Chuck IPA - This is a limited edition beer, we don't know for sure where it will be on tap as of yet.


FandM Brewery
355 Elmira Road N.
Guelph, Ontario N1K 1S5

STONE HAMMER PREMIUM LIGHT- 4.2%

Appearance:  thick head, pale white, pale yellow body, effervescent
 

Smell: hoppy and creamy, winy on second smell, nutty on third
 

Taste: exceptionally grainy with great oat notes, very light and winy at first, turns to grainy. Very smooth finish.  Cereal notes remaining on breath
 

Mouthfeel: thin bodied, dry, yet wet part way through.
 

Overall: A surprisingly savoury light beer, with good discernible flavours. Recommend if you want a light beer with deep character.

STONE HAMMER PREMIUM PILSNER-5%
Appearance: thin head, pale, with yellow body that is rather effervescent
 

Smell: hoppy, with fruity undertones
 

Taste: very winy and wet; crisp with aggressive winy finish. A resinous note lingers on the breath after a couple sips. Some oat qualities.
 

Mouthfeel: medium bodied, dry puckering finish.
 

Overall: A typical lager at first, astringent and rather winy, but with an interesting resinous note that is unexpected and well received. Recommended for those who like strong pilsners with a little character.

 

MACLEAN’S PALE ALE-5%

Appearance: amber body, light amber body, somewhat turbit pour. Mild effervescence. Offwhite head.
 

Smell: savoury with fruity notes. Apparitional nuttiness and syrupy quality.
 

Taste: nutty body, first sip, winy taste and resinous finish. Becomes more vinous throughout but resinous quality remains after finish. Mild fruit notes
 

Mouthfeel: fullbodied with dry finish.
 

Overall: A good natured ale with some complexity beyond typical spicy, hoppy qualities that make it seem vinous or winy.

 

STONE HAMMER PREMIUM DARK ALE-5%
Appearance: dark amber body, light brown head, dense and matte
 

Smell: sweet and worty, very syrupy.
 

Taste: malty with strong hoppy character, followed by a nutty, resinous finish. A mellow vinous quality exists in the brew. Not at the forefront of the flavours. Changes to astringent salty quality with resinous finish. Malt on breath
 

Mouthfeel: full bodied with chalky after taste. Dry qualities.
 

Overall:  Recommend for those who like the qualities of stouts without high alchohol content.

 

Availability
Aside from LCBO and the Beer Store
Angie’s Kitchen — 47 Erb Street West
Black Hole Bistro — 31 North Caroline Street
Bloom Conestoga College — 108 University Avenue East
Hogtails Southern BBQ — 645 Laurelwood Drive
Kick Off Sports Lounge (R) — 170 University Street West
Oliver and Bonacini — Conestoga Mall, 500 King Street North
University of Waterloo Gradhouse (R) — University of Waterloo Ring Road
Waterloo Tennis Club — 50 Central Street

 

Grand River Brewing
295 Ainslie Street
Cambridge, Ontario, Canada N1R 3L3

Mill Race Mild-3.5%

Appearance: burnt caramel body, light brown head, thin.
 

Smell: malty, syrupy, very close to molasses . roasted. Strongest malt of all beers tried.
 

Taste: Coffee like; an apparitional savouriness resembling rare steak. Coffee on breath- smell changes to caramel cream near end; tastes unfinished, as far as 3.5 % alcohol content goes
 

Mouthfeel: full-bodied, oily, starts out that way but disappears, nothing to back it up. Smooth finish, rather wet.
 

Overall:  a faux stout for those who like malty qualities without the alcohol.  Guenther says like an IPA. Either way, geared towards those who like the flavor qualities of beer more than typical hoppiness. A unique light beer.


Galt Knife Old Style-4.4%
 
Appearance: honey coloured, off yellow head, dissipates quickly.
 

Smell: mild hops, malty and acidic (vinegary), reminiscent of mustard.
 

Taste: hoppy, savoury oats, with a brassy aftertaste; mild fruitiness, like bananas. Hoppy finish.
 

Mouthfeel: full bodied with bitter hops at back of throat with finish.
 

Overall:  a well balanced beer with strong flavor notes at the beginning and hops that linger on the back of the throat after the finish. Tastes great at room temperature.

 

Hannenberg Pils 4.5%

Appearance:  pale thin head, dissipates quickly.
 

Smell: fruity. Creamy at first, but then sour, and rather skunky. Sulpher quality, like sour milk. Head goes, turns grainy. Hoppy.
 

Taste: fruity at first, smooth finish, grainy at the back of the throat. Nutty on breath.
 

Mouthfeel: dry, medium body, smooth finish.
Overall: like a pale two row malt with a very distinct malt. A good pilsner.

 

Plowman’s Ale 4.7%

Appearance:  dark amber colour, eggshell head, dissipates quickly.
 

Smell: syrupy, roasted caramel notes upon first opening. Changes to a mild fruitiness.
 

Taste: sour and brassy on first sip. Very hoppy. Apparitional burnt caramel quality throughout, hints of vanilla and coffee.
 

Mouthfeel: very dry, medium body, harsh finish, syrupy.
 

Overall: too much hops, not a lot of room for flavor. Similar to Mill Race Mild, but more hoppy qualities; suggest chilling. Hops throws everything out of balance. By the time you get into the complexity of flavours the hops wipes them out.

In the LCBO right now: Galt Knife Old Style, Plowmans Ale, and Pugnacious Pale Ale
 

Beers are available on tap at Kick Offs, The Grad House UW

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Ch-Ch-Changes

Everyone who’s anyone knows about the Huether Hotel, an ambiguous grab-bag for all the restaurants that actually make up its space, the Barley Works being one such assemblage. Now, my eating there may even be old hat for all you eaters, and I’d be apt to let you all assume that as the students, you all are becoming the masters of places to eat, but let me assure you, this is not yet the case. So, why the visit to a place so well known in the city’s conscious? To the point, the menu has changed and separated itself from humble pub familiars to food with a more cosmopolitan tone. Yes, things are changing. The only way to see it may be by reading the bankable menu, rewritten to seduce you with urbane imagery and sellable artisanal rituals which, for some reason, make us all think the food tastes so much better. That and, of course, trying the food. You certainly won’t know by stepping in the place. The atmosphere hasn’t changed, so I won’t bore you culinary confidants with the details. But, if you are a little inexperienced, here’s a brief blow by blow: sports bar, tvs, exposed brick, lions’ heads, plaques, red pipes, popular patio, always filled in the summer. Good.  If it pleases you, you can spend a little, or you can spend a lot. A satisfying meal will run you between 10 and 20 dollars, though the appetizers seem as expensive as entree meal options. The menu runs the gamut, not necessarily specialized, but not sabotaging either: from soups to salads to hamburgers, pasta, schnitzel, and steak, you can have it all. I may have very well ate more, but I spent all of my personal allowance on bottomless hot pot for an expatriated Taiwanese news anchor turned self-effacing business man, bless his hardworking heart. Thus, I settled for an unabashed bison burger, a meat that seems unsuited to the wilds of Waterloo, but a good test of the Barley Works potential. For dessert, I stuck with an old menu favourite, although new to me: a stout float. A pint filled with brownie, vanilla ice cream, and the house’s choice beer; maybe a familiarity to you, but a total surprise to me. Yes, young masters, I’m still learning.   My burger came to me settled snuggly beside a house salad made of iceberg lettuce, spinach and veiny red chard, with typical toppings like carrots, peppers, and croutons. Now, as far as I’m concerned, a salad’s a hard thing to do, and as a side a mere display to make you seem like you’re getting some money’s worth. Not the case here.  My burger, a charred round hugged by lettuce, tomato, caramelized onions, a sun dried tomato mayo, unfortunately lost, and jalapeno havarti cheese on a Kaiser with a soft character, was an avid eat. Not perfect, but nowhere near a failure. If I had any qualms with the thing they were nothing more than mere textural trivialities: a bun too big for a paddy that slid back and forth and eventually fell apart, caramelized onions too stringy and stubborn to easily break, and too little avocado spread. But aside from that, I couldn’t resist the paddy’s charred exterior, its maroon flesh, reminiscent of a medium well steak, and the rich primal urge I had devouring the thing. I felt like a brute, but nothing short of satisfied. My stout dessert had the potential to be something great, if not for the hoppy beer it was paired with, not complimenting the sweetness of the ice cream, but only getting in the way of enjoying any contrast between sweet and heady. Fear not, if you are as gastronomically inclined as me, you could very well argue a choicer brew. And as for the brownie? Well, it’s a brownie; who would complain? Huether Hotel Lion Brewery Restaurant 59 King Street North, Waterloo, ON N2J 2X2 Phone: (519) 886-3350 Everyday 1130 am -1 am CASH CREDIT NO DEBIT

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Beer's the most androgynous thing I've ever seen in a chef's hat. Or, at least, that's what I thought when I first met her. But it's those peculiarities in life that make it so dazzling. That a young woman no older than me could have a face as round and as bright as the sun (and some newly ordained Bhikkhu, consequently) one minute, but become as strong, and defined with cheekbones reminiscent of some African Queen from the deep jungles of the Congo AND with hair as black as that queen's black skin that it's almost purple - just as soon as she takes off her chef hat - isn't really beyond me at this point. However, what is, is her warm heart and nurturing nature. Chalk it up to the Buddha, or gender roles in an Asian demographic that hasn't completely amalgamatted with the West, or some Asian girl's general disposition to love Caucasian males for whatever post-colonial reason (which I seem to be touching on quite a bit lately), or whatever you will, but one thing's for sure: Beer's the best thing to come out of Laos in a long time. It seems no one bad comes into that kitchen; and that all those women wear hats because their hair is so dark it would absorb all the light used to light the place if they ever took their hats, or hair nets, off for more than a minute. All the light, or the entire universe. Maybe that's it: some karmic Buddhist ability - hair so dark, it absorbs all negative energy, neutralized by their own positive dispositions. Okay, maybe that's not it, but I couldn't think of a more magical reason why Beer's so pleasant; I certainly could think of another reason however. Simply put, because she's a good person, with the heart of a Buddha, and the skill of some kind of cosmic cook who makes delicious coconut drinks for Weezee, knowing on some level of consciousness that they bring me from being just there, to actually BEING there.

Not too long ago Beer bought the kitchen some elbow length mucking gloves from the Korean store she, and I, conveniently, both frequent; gloves so long you either look like a married korean woman making huge tubs of kimchi with all the friends she plays two-suited mahjong with on Sundays, or a nuclear technician, attempting to open a jar of kimchi. Now, gloves may not sound like much, and no one but Beer and I may use them, but that she brought them in at all must be testament to her boundless generousity. But it doesn't stop there dear reader; in fact, it brings me to the point of this entry, and why I'm writing it: because Beer is good, and she makes me feel good. About work, about people, about decision, about life, about the cold weather that makes me want to quit my job and role under the covers and sleep until at least autumn. Sirrah.
That said, I came to work today in a funk. In a funk because I've been overwhelmed with decision, underwhelmed by direction, and overtly-whelmed by inadequacy. Grad school is rearing it's ugly head again. I feel terrible about having been in a less than stellar mood, and what's more was Beer's good intention to give me one of her generic smoothie drinks. I tried to decline, accepted, and then tried to pretend I forgot, but she forced it on me. I had no qualms about it being delicious, and touched by Beer's maternal instinct, but I just didn't have the guts to take it; why did a jerk like me deserve something like that from someone like her anyway. I felt unworthy, and without connection to these people I had genuinely come to care about.

Watching Uncle's metal steamer tonight, I came to a sad, if not dissapointing conundrum: that even though I was excited about what he was cooking, and that cooking and learning how to cook in a particularly Asian space gave me a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment, I could never fully connect to any of it, or the people there. I don't speak their language, I didn't grow up in their spaces - I'm trying desperately to learn languages, and now it seems I know why. To connect. Only connect. Because their lives are something I'd like to be a part of. Their's are spaces I think I'd like to exist in. E.M. Forster had the right idea. And I think the Buddha did too. Because when Uncle makes me food, or Beer brings me a drink, it's not because they have to, but because they want to. And when I accept those things from them, it not about the food, but about what it means.

There may be hope for this kuso cook yet.

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