Luckily, someone told me Princess Cafe was giving employment a go, and while I was leery of my ability to procure work with the place, I couldn't help but elbow myself into applying for whatever mediocre, underemployed position it offered, but just until I get the call for delivery driver at Boston Pizza.
Looking more familiar than I probably should have, I said my hellos, handed in my extensive resume, and waited if there were any other questions. There was.
Its proprietor, sporting his everyday dracule haircut, and his habitual short sleeve plaid shirt combo, asked if I was the guy who wrote food reviews. Now, I WAS a guy who wrote food reviews, I don't know if I was THE guy, but that's a different beast altogether. Anyway, I complied, humoured him with a 'yes,' and then had his assurance that he would never hire me.
I asked why? He said because I wrote about Cheeses Murphy, and then reiterated, I'm sure in his mind with something a little wittier and gastronomer shaming, that he would never hire me.
I probed further. I asked what exactly he didn't like about my review, and he responded with a resounding, "It's cunty. It's just cunty. It's cunty." Over and over, and over again. As an aside, I hope he's a feminist trying to reclaim the word, otherwise, that's total slandering, innapropriate, and sexist language, and I hope every woman who goes there questions his use of the word.
What I would have preferred was an honest explanation of why my articulate, honest review, written almost a year ago, was so dissatisfying beyond ascribing it with such a hateful word.
I respected his opinion, even in lieu of his scenester, Ramones sweatshirt wearing employee cowering in the corner and snickering as if also trying to shame me like I'd just been served with the illest hook. But I felt I really didn't do anything wrong, besides give a good honest review, unless otherwise admitting not to. I humbly left, saving my smile for the exit, because when I did leave, I felt nothing but infamy. The people cared, maybe only when I disagreed with something they did, but they cared, and that made me feel pretty good about myself.
But my own infamy aside, what would have actually shamed me and impressed me about Princess Cafe's owner would have been a genuine response as to why he felt my review wasn't an honest assessment. In an ideal world, attempting to hire me in hopes of changing my opinion about the food, or showing me how good the food really is would have really changed my world view. In a more civil world, after a solid year's time of holding a grudge and hoping for the day where the place gets to confront me, I would hope they would, after assessing my review, ask me instead to try their food yet again, because we really got off on the wrong foot and it's really improved. But if it's not their ego, it's mine. And it's a crying shame. My review was harsh, I admit, so harsh that there was rumour I had shut it down months after- and I didn't bother to ask them about the review I wrote about the actual cafe almost two years ago, which could be just as harsh, I don't know. Again, I think it's honest. And I'm sure as I left, he and his employee had a good hate fest, stewing in their juices about how I'm some sort of 'cunty' food writer who thinks he's all that. I'll accept that as a good possibility; but it's a small sacrifice if it means they did consider my critique and used it, even if not admittedly, to improve something as novel as a grilled cheese sandwich, which, again, should be phenomenal if you're going to sell it to inebriated undergrads at 3:00 am. Bridges . . . you never know where you're gonna burn 'em.
So, I guess this is goodbye, Princess Cafe. I can't particularly say I'll miss your acrid coffee, your flacid cappucinos, your platitudinous paninis. I will however miss the chance to be a part of your team if only to contribute to the improvement or passion that is desperately needed in your food, not just part of a cafe that depends on rhetoric, and Rotello decor. I'll especially miss Laura, the girl behind the counter who I'm pretty sure doesn't work there anymore. Yes, Laura; she was like a sexy cross between an un-crazy Miley Cyrus and even sexier Kat Dennings. Oh, the hours I spent in that place reading Japanese and pining away for any bit of conversation with her. So Laura, if you're reading this, get in touch, I'd like to take you out for dinner. Maybe for grilled cheese. Until then, I'll have to lament the fact that I'll have to get a grown up job with my two graduate degrees, diploma, and fluency in multiple languages. It's tough, but I'll get through it, thanks to the Princess Cafe's stern, woman shaming, proprietor. Again, I thank you, まだまだ強くなれる.
Love,
The 'Infamous' Weezee
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10 comments:
I hate the "c-word" and what a lame response. I agree with you, in that he should have respected your opinion and used it to better his establishment, or at least better explained why he didn't like your review. On a side note, I also think he took the words of one person a bit too seriously as I've heard rave reviews of Cheeses Murphy from many other people and it always seems to be busy so clearly your review didn't hurt business that much.
thx gurl. I wasn't offended in the least, or hurt by his not wanting me, but man-o-man, when someone wants to better themselves and you refuse with a slandering word. Not too professional.
shoot.
thx fr readin'
(1/4)
Ah yes, when I got word of yesterday’s events I had a feeling that it would be posted here. Let me begin by saying that I am not the owner of the café but rather the guy dishing out the sandwiches out front at Cheeses Murphy. Thus, I can only speak for myself here. I wasn’t present for this encounter, and instead of playing “he said, she said” I will work just with what you have here.
We first saw your review of Cheeses when it was printed in Imprint but eventually found it again on your site here. The review was obviously unfavourable but it was not your disapproval that was bothering us. Let’s face it, culinary reviews are an important and inevitable part of running a restaurant. With reviews comes the possibility of negative response. So be it. Reading material like that helps us to hear from the public and adjust what may not be working. We were a mere three months into our business at the time of your review. What bothered us, or at least what bothered me, were examples of misinformation that could have been easily cleared up had you (or any inquiring customer) asked. For example, you specify that we do not have ketchup (“Did I mention they sell dipping sauces? No ketchup though”). The fact is, and has been from day one, that there is a large basket of ketchup packets on the counter. It’s grilled cheese, of course we would be wrong to overlook something as important as ketchup. A simple “Hey, I don’t see any ketchup. Do you have any?” would have instantly resolved any confusion. It’s not on the menu because charging for packets of ketchup would be absurd. The dips are made for those looking for something beyond ketchup. Whatever, it’s an oversight. You go on to call our use of white bread a “lazy copout”. That seemed a little personal but can be chalked up to a strong opinion and desire to keep the reader hooked on your tiny jabs. I have had customers ask “why white bread?” and after hearing our philosophy behind it they more often than not understood. I don’t mean to imply that it is on the patron to ask all of these questions, but merely to clarify that there are conscious decisions here and not a “lazy copout”. When discussing our namesake sandwich you expressed your dismay at “nameless jam and spattered bits of bacon”. The sandwich is cheddar cheese and bacon-jam, and not the aforementioned bacon and “nameless jam”. Our bacon jam is something that we put a lot of work into and are quite proud of. It is an ingredient that is described to any inquiring patron. Yet again your readers are warned of this mystery ingredient, and that is simply not the case. To suggest that we are “pandering” to drunks is simply offensive and misinformed. The fact is, you didn’t ask and simply threw your jabs. We were caught off guard by the personal edges of the review but thought of it as an unfortunate situation and one that could at least be taken as constructive criticism. We held no ill will toward you or your review at that point. We cut back on our butter (an issue discussed in your review) and consistently tried to up our game when it came to features and improving our ingredients. Someone commented on your review that they initially agreed with your butter critique but saw an improvement the second time as well as a “phenomenal” special. Instead of leaving the comment, or responding with “I’m glad they fixed one of the problems” or even simply saying “Weird. Not the experience I had” you decided to respond with “stop throwing your money away“. Yeesh. In 24 hours since posting you jumped from disapproval to telling people to stop coming to our establishment. Now THAT is a straight shot personal attack on our business. That is not a review. We tried to shrug this off as an opinion that you posted on your own blog.
(2/4)
Fast-forward to April when we stumble upon a review on “Notes on Gastronavigation” (http://gastronavigation.blogspot.ca/2011/11/review-cheeses-murphy.html). A rather favourable review that touched on many of the same instances that you had in your review. Difference of opinion? Obviously. As I reached the bottom of the review I noticed a comment: “this place is shit. i can't believe you.” Well shit, an attack at both our place and at the reviewer. We must have seriously dropped the ball somewhere. So I follow the link and lone behold, IT’S YOU! So, just to recap: your readers were fed inaccuracies, you took your comical jabs at what we are doing and accused us of taking advantage of drunks by serving subpar food, told commenters on your own blog to “stop throwing [their] money away” on us, AND THEN attacked us on another food blog and insulted them. At this point it was hard not to question what the hell was going on here. What you are attacking here, repeatedly, is a few guys trying to do something new and exciting. Something that many people do genuinely like (and no, not just drunks), and we try each week to be better than the last (as any new business should be). It is attitude that has upset us, not your unfavourable review. We may not agree with you, but you were doing your job.
(3/4)
In today’s article is more of the same. A mere 150 words in you are mocking the appearance of both of the guys behind the counter. You question why he would be bothered by your innocent and honest review, obviously blind to your one man anti-murphy campaign. As for this gem, “I felt nothing but infamy. The people cared, maybe only when I disagreed with something they did, but they cared, and that made me feel pretty good about myself.” Your infamy is anchored in your attempts at shaming a small independently owned business in the interest of maintaining your reputation as a “critical food theorist”. This part is my favourite, “I would hope they would, after assessing my review, ask me instead to try their food yet again, because we really got off on the wrong foot and it's really improved. But if it's not their ego, it's mine.” I’m sorry we didn’t call to invite you back, although I’d hope that hearing we were still around after you heard that rumour that you had shut us down months after your review would have been a call to maybe to return. The thing is, we did take your advice to heart, as well as anyone else who was willing to talk to us about it. Maybe you weren’t in to see it yourself but there are two examples above of people saying that we had changed for the better. Well that’s strange…You wrote a negative review calling for improvement, and the restaurant improved. Bizarre! But alas, when informed of these changes our patrons were “shit” and there business was a waste of money. Talk about an impossible uphill battle! You had your charming “call to arms” to stand up against amateur foodies who fancy themselves critics (A Table for Maple article, November 9); this may have to be our call to arms against unreasonable critical food theorists! I’ll gather the troops and have Maple spread the word for me (I’ll even let her instagram our menu for good measure). You inform your readers that you would even be willing to bear the brunt of possible ridicule if only we would take your criticism to heart. Just like the ketchup, and the mystery spread with bacon, the butter and the white bread philosophy, you did not ask any questions, nor did you return, but simply continue to sling barbs. But hey, it would have been nice for him to go through the review with you and invited you back for a taste, Right? He should know to answer these unasked questions just as I should have read your mind that fateful night in February and thought to monitor and reply to your internet comments more carefully. Stupid grilled cheese guys too busy ripping off drunks to read your mind I guess…You hated the food and coffee anyway, right? Dig on the décor, nice touch. If only they had you to add passion to the menu! It’s a shame that we have been witness to your continuing examples of negativity toward us (and other establishments).
Oh, and Laura still works there. She’s still a fox and has loved following your articles along with us.
I’m in the front window of Cheeses Murphy every Friday and Saturday from midnight until 3:30, at least until you have us shut down, feel free to come ask any questions!
(4/4)
Calling you “cunty” (something I have never used or heard) may appear out of line but it comes after months of attacks on his livelihood not in the honest review you like to tout as the unfair base of his hostility, but the proceeding comments. Just as you want him held accountable for his actions in your call to arms (yeah, I caught that tag at the bottom there), you should hold yourself accountable for what you are putting out there.
Comrade,
You're right. I am a terror, I do not deny it. Thank you for your comments. Your response is exactly what I was looking for. I am impelled to give Cheeses Murphy another go. When? we'll never know. I secede.
Tell Laura I love her.
i don't think Maple should have anything to do with this. He disagreed with her for saying she doesn't review chains, even when she reviewed chains anyway.
I have had Cheeses Murphy a couple times now and it is great however I was also a bit disappointed paying 6 bucks for a Wonderbread grilled cheese sando. I think it's a great concept for the late night diner and refreshing in a city without food trucks but a nice thick cut bread would help justify the price. I realize that the inebriated club crowd won't probably notice the upgrade but those of us driving downtown for the sole purpose of a great grilled cheese would be appreciative. Maybe offer an upgraded bread option (for zero more $)
Cheers!
LOVE the passion that Jory at Cheezus displays in defending this independent business. He does so with wit and tact, not ego and immaturity. I am dairy free, but dammit...I think I'm going to give Cheezus ago! I was so impressed by the idea and getting a glimpse at the philosophy behind the place makes me even more curious. Bravo.
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