Bagels! Think of a Clever Title for Bagels!

 
I fell in love with a Jewish girl once. Her name was Becky. She was a firecracker. Mouthy, dark haired, liked movies like Battle Royale, went to Mecca, got drunk in subways, posted her antics on youtube. Very sexy. Very, My Sassy Girl. I went to get sushi with her once. As I recall, the night ended with a solid punch in my stuffed stomach. Two punches, actually. Both unexpected. Good god, to go back there.
I always asked her about food. Obviously. More importantly, I always asked her about marriage. She said her dad was an ambulance chaser. I said, what if I went to law-school? She said, sure. I'd narrate how we'd spend our days together: we'd live in Montreal, in the Jewish community. Obviously. Go out for bagels, go to temple, go home, make falafels, go to whatever cock-fight we'd be able to find. It was a potentially thrilling lifestyle. I couldn't wait. Unfortunately, I never went to law school. Unfortunately, she moved back home. Unfortunately, she didn't care much for bagels. And unfortunately, she still owes me a pie. Cherry.
Any place that makes bagels from scratch in this town is a rare find. I would think there's more than one. That said, I know there is one. Whether they boil them and then bake them, I've yet to see. I have seen them bake them, however. But, in our bad economic times, bagels are a luxury. Especially ones baked from a genuine bagel man. So, if you've just been laid and wanna impress that special someone even more with an early morning adventure to a spot that sells "real" bagels (define "real" here), have I got the place for you. Sure, sure, sure; you could go to the grocery store, where the bagels are cheaper, and might even taste better, but it's all about feeling a little cultured. For something as mediocre as a bagel, food is one of two things: either nostalgia, or propaganda. Nostalgia for the person who grew up eating a particular dish and associating it with whatever good memory (your dear narrator and congee, for example) or, propaganda for the person introducing the food to whatever other person. It is a representation of their character, of their "taste" for the finer things in life. Like I've said before, I've had some pretty good mush. Ever eat bitter Thai vegetable soup? Looks like mush, smells like dog food. Tastes delicious. I'd never, though- okay, I would- but a gentleman, would never introduce it to a lady they'd like to court. No no, that's not kosher. But bagels, my friends . . . imagine: getting up early on a Saturday morning and taking a quaint walk to the local bagel shop, coffee in hand. Can you smell the semantics? I know I can.

  

Rise and Shine Bagels, open three times a week (Thursday, Friday & Saturday from 7:30 - 2:30; subject to change) has been around for a while. A long while. Probably longer than me. Why I never heard of it before? I could talk your ear off. But, that's not important. What's important is that it's there, it's local, it's socially conscious. It's kind of expensive. For bagels. But, does the taste offset the cost? At .75 a pop, I'm not so sure. But, I haven't tried all of their bagels, and their bagels are constantly changing with the seasons. Literally. I was told that they change their bagel menu every number of months. So, if say, for winter, you like cranberry bagels only, I can point you in the right direction. But even that's liable to change.

But why go then to a place that's constantly changing the menu, especially when you can go get a bagel from the Man for less money and year-round? Well, the taste for one. And the size. I mean, in theory, that's why I'd go. That's why I thought I was going. That, and my strange fascination with bakery atmospheres. My grandfather was a baker.

I got one of two things. Size. But not taste. The flavour of these bagels was nothing special. They tasted like bagels. Now, maybe I don't eat enough bagels or compare bagels enough. Maybe I built up the bagel in my mind, althewhile dreaming of life as a rabbi in Montreal. I don't know how bagels taste in New York either. They may taste even better. They may have that magic something. Did I find it at Rise and Shine Bagels? No. Not yet. Maybe someday, if the bagels keep changing. Maybe if stranger ingredients are introduced and I have a reason to get bagels there rather than at grocery stores.

Sure, there are reasons to buy from Rise and Shine Bagels. Buying locally is a great reason; so is the experience, even if once. It's the journey, not the destination after all. But, the size of the bagels don't really offset the cost either, unfortunately. Nor does the shelf life. They get hard fast. So, unless you plan on eating 6 in a day or two, maybe it's best you shop elsewhere.

 

There is one quirk to buying from Rise and Shine, and that just may be the peculiar way business is run: through trust. That's right. There's essentially prices written on the walls and a pile of money beside a coffee machine (pardon the blurry photo), where-in-which you leave your pay and take your change. How many times have they been ripped off? I hope none. I left them something extra though. Just in case. And I'm sure many do. But we should never, EVER feel sorry for a cook, or a baker. It's a rich lifestyle, and a proud job, full of story, aromas, and, of course, good food.

So don't let my fathead experience deter you. You can still be a fathead yourself, after getting laid, after getting up early, after taking someone to this fab bagel shop in town. It's beautiful. And hopefully, your lay will be too.

Rise and Shine Bagels
52 Bridgeport Rd East,
Waterloo, ON
519-572-2495
Thurs-Sat 7:30 a.m. - 2:30 p.m.

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